fuck what you heard

Vent:

I don’t ever really complain about life, but when I hear about my family’s problems it seems that I can’t do nothing but worry about them. So much is going on with my aunt’s family, and I only worry about her. I just don’t want her to be hit with the amounts of stress my uncle did. I really wouldn’t want it to branch out to the rest of my family, but its family. One goes through it, so we all go through it. I hope and pray that everything works out for everyone. I only wish to finally get that one phone call that will set my life straight. All I want is for everyone to be happy, and for everyone to be successful. For now ill take life one day at a time.

No matter the outcome

Tomorrow may be the biggest day of the year for me. Tomorrow I was given the opportunity to interview at a company that will put me in the position to live happily, take care of my family, and make sure my friends are always okay. No matter the outcome. Good or bad. Job or no job, I would like to thank everyone that have blessed my life with your presence. I am truly blessed to have those in my life. Past, present, future. Here’s to the future, here’s to the ventures that are to come. Cheers!

As long as I could remember, I’ve always been a thoughtful, and caring person. It was a rare occasion for me to ever say no to anyone, if I could do it for you. I would. If I had it, you wouldn’t even have to ask twice. All I ever wanted was to be able to take care of all the people I loved. Now that I’m in the position to. I try my best to make sure that everyone I surround myself is happy, is fed, is drunk, is whatever it is. The simple fact that my girlfriend and I are able to take care of our friends is such a good feeling. Not the simple fact that we need to, but the reason being is we know that they would do the same for us. Its still a long ways from me and her being successful, but for now. With this opportunity, let us live young. Wild, and free.

I feel so involved:

This past weekend after working a 9.5 hour shift. I take a 3 hour drive though out the night to Austin to see the girlfriend and also to attend her formal. As tired as I was and how much I just wanted to be in Dallas for the weekend I still went, not cause I didn’t want to let her down. Nor was it cause I truly wanted to, in a way I guess I felt as if I was supposed to be there. Anyways. During the formal, they announce the new pledges, and we bump knuckles, and everyone laughs. For 15 seconds I feel like a celebrity an get a bunch of flash and pictures taken. Then they do a routine dance with their dates. I don’t know if it was me, or the alcohol, but some where deep down inside of me I was proud of that girl that my girlfriend picked up as a little. From the first time she told me she got a little. I was excited for her, as the process went along I grew more fond of her, and felt as if I went threw everything with Tien and Anna. Its crazy. To finally see her able to say she is a Sigma makes me feel as if this is only the beginning. I hope that her and her little, carry on a good relationship as her and her own big does.

THANK YOU:

today marks a pretty important day. its the day that i find out if the big choices in life are worth the risk or not. i would just like to extend a very verrrrry big thank you to everyone that has entered my life. if you’re still there, if you’re gone, if you’re an occasional hello, even if you’re no longer apart of my life on a daily basis. you once were a part of my life, and you played a role. as long as i have been myself. i came to realize how much i cared about the people in my life, it has just been recently that i have realized those i surround myself within, are the ones i will forever show love too. i know i just up and left “home” with a short notice, but please understand i did this for me, not for you. like they say “shoot now, ask questions later”. in my case, its “shoot for the stars, ask me questions later”. i’m not a different tony, im the same ol’ t-roc, same nigga that’s always down for whatever. it just comes to a point in life where i had to leave that jar, and get my wings. just know that along comes success, comes the well being for everyone that is around me. if i make it, you make it. i will forever pave a way for everyone behind me. it was nice to have all the lil homies look up to me, call me when they needed “something” i just want to show them that there is a life outside of the hood. there is a life for everyone, and if that hood life is your calling, then take it. but for the ones i see mad potential in. don’t waste your time being something you are not destined to be. everyone has a story to tell, everyone has a life to live. life is short, and one day life will flash before your eyes. just make sure that its a good, one with the people you love most. listen to those that have a good head on their shoulders, rub off the negative people, and always follow your heart. doesn’t matter if you think you will fail, if you do. those you love will understand, and always be there to pick you up.

“that i made it, yeah i made it. first i made you who you are, then i made it, and you’re wasted with your ladies yeah i’m the reason you’re always getting faded. take a shot for me” -Drake

I wish I could:

Sometimes I wish I could just step close to the edge and fly away. Miles and miles up in the sky just to look down, and forget about all the problems this world has to offer. Lately I just feel as if life has taken a turn for the worst. Bad news on top of bad news just makes the situation even worse. Trying to focus on my personal life is hard when there are others that love to poke into it, I have lived a pretty open life, with few limitations to it. I have come to the point where I want my life in more of a private stand point. I want to be able to do what it is I want to do without having to worry about someone saying this, and people believing another. I want to be able to have the freedom of talking to my girlfriend without having the paranoia of her hearing another. Life as I see it has been a total blur, and there’s no sign of it slowing down. I just do want that small window of privacy. Taking down social networks, blogs, and any other form of communication to those that are interested in others lives may be the best bet. For now. Let me close my eyes and fall into deep sleep, cause my body sure can use it.

At the end of the day:

It just feels good to have someone tell you that everything will be okay. Someone to love, and still be there for you no matter what. I’m so thankful for having such an amazing, understanding person to call my girlfriend.